Most families arrive at Aid and Attendance with a money problem. The care bill is higher than the monthly income, and someone at the VFW said a veterans benefit might close the gap. That is a reasonable place to start, but the benefit does not begin with the bill. It begins with what Dad cannot do without another person's hands or watchful eye.1

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

What VA is checking

The aid and attendance increase looks at function. The published criteria ask whether the veteran needs help with activities of daily living such as bathing, dressing, eating, using the toilet, or moving around. They also ask whether a mental or physical condition leaves him unable to protect himself from the hazards of ordinary daily life. Being bedridden or living in a nursing home because of a condition appears among the criteria as well.1 A diagnosis alone does not settle the question. Two veterans with the same diagnosis can land on opposite sides of the line, depending on what each can do unassisted.

How to tell you have the problem

Before you gather a single record, keep a plain log for two weeks. For each day, write which tasks Dad did alone, which he did with a reminder, and which someone else did for him. Note the nights too. The useful entries are specific. Write that he needed help getting from bed to the bathroom at night, not that the night was bad.

  • Separate hands-on help from supervision. Standing by to prevent a fall or a wrong step is a different kind of need from helping him dress, and a family often describes only one of them.
  • Mark whether each gap is daily or occasional. Help during a single recovery stretch is a different problem from a standing need.
  • Say who wrote each entry and whether that person sees the whole day. If nobody sees the evenings, the log should say so.

What the log does not do

The log does not prove eligibility on its own. It tells you whether the file is worth building. Eligibility also depends on the veteran's service, the pension income and net worth rules, and the medical evidence. The reading order on this desk covers those in sequence, and the Start Here page lays it out.

1 VA.gov, Aid and Attendance and Housebound benefits page. Check the current criteria there before relying on this summary.