Most families ask a caregiver or agency for references and then ask a general question like whether the person was good. That answer rarely tells you much. A useful reference check names the shift, the routine, and the problem you are trying to solve, then asks the reference what they actually saw.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

The Aid and Attendance benefit is paid to the veteran, and VA does not interview, certify, or supervise the caregiver you choose.[1] The reference check is therefore your job, and it deserves the same care as any other hiring decision.

Describe the shift before you call

Write down the routine in plain terms before you contact a reference: the hours, the days, whether Dad needs help getting dressed, moving from bed to chair, or staying company through the evening. Then ask the reference whether the caregiver covered that exact shift. A reference from a daytime companion role does not answer a question about overnight watch.

Ask about the hard days

Ask what happened when the caregiver was sick, when the client's needs changed, or when a visit ran long. Ask whether the caregiver called before a missed shift or after. Ask whether a log was kept and whether it was ever wrong. These answers show how the person handles the problems you will eventually face.

Confirm who the reference actually worked for

Ask whether the reference hired the caregiver directly or through an agency, and whether the agency handled scheduling. A family who hired directly can describe the day-to-day relationship. An agency client may only know the invoice and the replacement system. Both are useful, but they answer different questions.

Check the agency, not only the reference

For an agency, search your state's licensing lookup for home care providers and read any listed complaint or inspection records. Ask the agency to name the licensing record it holds. If it cannot, that is a question about its paperwork, not a reason to assume the worst.

Use the same questions for every candidate

Write five questions and ask every candidate and every reference the same ones. Score each answer on a single sheet, with a line for what was said, not what you thought of it. Families often find the strongest candidate is the one whose answers match the routine on the page, not the one who was most charming on the phone.

If you want help sorting the St. Louis options before you start calling references, see the Local Help page.

Footnote

[1] VA.gov, Aid and Attendance and Housebound benefits.