A family that covers weekends and evenings can believe the veteran is handled while weekday mornings go unrecorded. A claim picks up only the need that is written down. A file that says “family helps on weekends” tells a different story from one that names specific tasks needed every day, and the file has to show the need as it is every day, not as it looks on the family's best days.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Keep a seven-day grid for two weeks

Draw a grid with each day across the top and each part of the day down the side: morning, midday, evening, and overnight. In each box, write who was present, what that person did for the veteran, and what he did alone. Keep the grid for two full weeks so one unusual week does not decide the picture. Do not round up. Blank boxes are the information you need.

Read the blank boxes

The empty boxes show the gap. Check three things. Does the veteran go without help on any weekday morning? Is there a task he cannot finish alone, such as getting out of a chair or into the shower, that someone currently does only when they happen to be there? If the weekend helper stopped tomorrow, which routine would break first? Those answers show whether the need is daily, occasional, or already covered.

Compare the grid with what you tell others

Hold the grid next to what you have told the doctor, a veteran service officer, a care agency, and relatives. If the grid shows four empty weekday mornings and the doctor heard that he is doing fine with the family, the record is missing the gap. Correct the record in writing before anyone builds a plan or a claim description on it. Give the doctor a copy of the grid if the office accepts one, and keep your own copy.

Questions to put to the family

  • Who has agreed to cover weekday mornings, and for how long?
  • Has anyone other than you seen the grid, and do they agree with what it shows?
  • Which task would the family be unable to cover for a month?

This grid is a planning tool, not a determination. Whether the need qualifies is decided on the evidence VA holds, and an accurate grid is the simplest kind of evidence to explain.1

1 VA.gov, Aid and Attendance and Housebound benefits, https://www.va.gov/pension/aid-attendance-housebound/